Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What to do when work gets you down? FAIL Break!

Over the past few months, I've chronicled some of the funny, frustrating and inane happenings that typify the Sand Landian work environment - or at least my Sand Landian work environment. But let's face it, all workplaces, regardless of geographic location, can be crazy, stressful and/or bizarre at times. In the obnoxious wise words of Mr. Adventures, "That's why it's called "work" not "fun!"

People often ask me: "What do you do when you just can't take it anymore?"

To which I respond: "Dissolve a few xanax in my nightly vodka and chase it with a shot of Cuervo gold. Problem(s) solved!"

No, just kidding, I really don't do least, not the xanax part...most nights...

In all seriousness, when I find myself getting overly dismayed or stressed out by Fuckwittery, Inc's whackness, this is what I generally do:

1. Close my door.
2. Go to YouTube
3. Type "FAIL" in the search box
4. Select a video. (This is my current favorite.)
5. Spend 4 or 5 minutes laughing as random people do shit that's waaay stupid, even by Fuckwittery, Inc. standards. And if you've read even a couple of my posts, you know that's saying something.
6. Mentally compare my coworkers to the protagonists of the FAIL video I just watched:

Me: Self, it really sucks that your administrative assistant, who spent two years in "secretarial university," takes 85,000 years to transcribe a single letter because she types using only her index fingers.

Me: Yeah, that's totally lame. But, you know, at least she hasn't done something really lame like attempt to roller skate off of the roof like that tool at 3:58 in the video you just watched."

Me: Yeah, that really puts it all into perspective. I feel better now, back to the grindstone!

Now, if I'm having a really, really bad day, FAIL videos just aren't going to cut it. Let's say, hypothetically (wink wink), I just discovered our accounting clerks spent the last couple days delivering 100+ invoices to the wrong companies and I'm seriously contemplating ending it all by roller skating off the roof. Well, then I'd watch this video five or six times:

So that's basically how I keep myself from losing it. If not for my occasional video breaks, I'd probably be just another unemployed bi-winning warlock banging seven gram rocks...that is, if they even have seven gram rocks in Sand Land.

What do you fellow employees of Sand Land do?


  1. Well we would do this to forget all these s**w ups , watch this clip and am sure you will understand how we tend to forget such issues

  2. At my place (where I am one of the worker bees - happily at the level where these fuckwitterings occur), there is a group of 3-4 of us who condole one another and drown our sorrows on anything that burns going down.

    For fun, we just go into the employee databases and laugh at the employee records - just like a standardized version of the crap CVs you see everyday.

  3. Something happened at work and I thought you'd appreciate it.

    We had this mandatory computer training thing yesterday (the first, apparently, of a month long class). In this "class", we learned that there is a difference between laptops and desktops. After that, we learned all about how to handle booty. Hard booty. Soft booty. Warm booty. Cold booty.

    Word endings aren't always important here. They were talking about booting.

  4. Sub Par: That is hilarious!

  5. Engram, I'm way too much of a klutz for that relaxation technique!!

    Kerfuffly, hahaha...firewater and biodata sound like a fun combination, especially when you have others to laugh with you.

    Sub Par, hahahaha....I laughed till I cried. Can I please, please pretty please sign up for this booty-licious training course? At the very least, be a darling and send us dispatches from future sessions of the training program!